Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season
by Shadowfan90563
Summary: This is T for language and sexual references. R&R plz chap. 13 up! COMPLETE EPISODE GUIDE IN PROFILE
1. The One after Rachel got off the Plane

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

By: Shadowfan90563

Disclaimer: All characters are creations of Marta Kauffman David Crane and Kevin S. Bright.

Author's Note: I was completely torn up when they ended the best show on television. So, I kept on buying the DVD collections. When I figured out they wouldn't make more until March, I decided to create my own season. This will contain 25 chapters. I will most likely put a new one up every week. They should be available for reading on every Friday. This takes place after "The Last One".

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

Episode 1: The One after Rachel Got Off the Plane

PREVIOUSLY ON FRIENDS:

Ross sat down on his couch he checked his messages. There was a message from Rachel saying that she loved him too. After a whole long fight with the flight attendant, the machine was cut off.

"DID SHE GET OFF THE PLANE!" Ross screamed at the answering machine. While he was strangling the answering machine, a voice behind him said,

"I got off the plane." It was Rachel. The two ran to each other and kissed.

"All right," Rachel said seriously, "This is it, you and me, no more screwing around."

"Right, unless we're on a break," Ross joked. Rachel gave him a weird look.

"Don't make jokes now!" Ross said to himself.

At Monica and Chandler's apartment the workers were moving all of their things out to they're truck. As the people moved the big white dog out, Monica said

"If that falls off the truck," as she slipped 20 to the man, "it wouldn't be the_ worst_ thing."

"Was this place always purple?" Joey wondered out loud. As the clatter continued Monica said,

"Hey, do you realize at one time we all lived in this apartment?"

"Uh," Ross interjected, "I haven't."

"What about that time you tried to make it as a dancer?" Monica replied.

"Do you realize we went 11 years without that coming up!" Ross said with a dirty look. They were about to leave when Monica informed,

"Oh, Treger said we have to leave our keys here." Monica and Chandler left their keys on the counter. Then, the four others walked over and set their keys on the table.

"Hey, Monica, do you have to leave right away?" Rachel asked.

"No," Monica replied, "Why?"

"Well," Rachel said, "Why don't we go get some coffee?

"All right," Everyone replied. When they headed out Chandler cracked, "Where?" Everyone laughed.

Title song would play here.

At the coffee house

"So," Rachel asked Ross, "Now that we're back together, when can I move in?" Ross looked like he was struck by lightning.

"You already want to move back in?" He asked in a highly pitched voice.

"Yes," Rachel replied without moving, "we probably should live together being that we love each other."

"Yes but, isn't it early?"

"No sir," Chandler interrupted, "It is 1:56PM." Ross and Rachel gave him the dirty look. Ross recovered first

"Anyway, I think we should wait a little while."

"Wait until what?" Rachel replied.

"After this," he said as he took a small box and opened it up, "Rachel Green, Will you marry me?" After a long pause of jaws on the floor, Phoebe said,

"I HATE awkward silences!" Rachel was conscious again,

"Yes," Rachel said as they got up and kissed.

"Okay," Chandler said, "How many times has this happened?" Rachel took her new ring out of the box and threw the box at Chandler, Which hit him in the jaw.

"You know," Monica coaxed, "Sometimes, its good _not_ to make jokes." Chandler rolled his eyes.

"So, when's the wedding?" Joey asked.

"Well," Rachel answered, "These things take time. You can't just go to a church and say, one marriage please!" Monica and Chandler looked at each other with strange expressions.

"Well," Ross said, "We can't hug anyone before the wedding."

"Why?" Joey asked. Everyone looked at him with the most scolding expressions. After a long time Joey said,

"Oh!"

"There it is." Chandler said.

Here is where the names would show up

In Ross's apartment

"So, Ross," Rachel said, "When CAN I move in?"

"In a few days," Ross replied, "Where will we put Emma?"

Next episode will be on the 18th of Feb.


	2. The One with The Twins

Friends: The complete Eleventh Season

The One with the Twins

Disclaimer: See Chap. 1

Author's Note: I know you're all saying, What Happened to the Friday thing? The answer is… I have so many good reviews I just can't keep you all waiting! There will now be a summary in the beginning to tell people what will happen in the episode. (This chapter will be twice as long as the last one.

Summary: Monica and Chandler realize the challenge of raising Erica and Jack. Chick Junior and Duck Junior start to grow up and get to the playful stage. Joey falls for the sexy French lady across the hall.

(Scene takes place at Monica and Chandler's new house. Monica is upstairs feeding one of the twins. The other one is on the floor crying.)

Monica was screaming to Chandler in the basement,

"Honey, Jack needs his diaper changed!"

"Are you sure?" Chandler replied.

"No," She said, "There is just a terrible odor coming from his ass!"

"No, I mean how do you know it's Jack?" Chandler called back.

"It **IS **Jack!" Monica practically bellowed, "What does it matter anyway?"

"I want to know whether or not to bring a wet wipe!" Chandler replied.

"WHY WOULD YOU NEED A WET WIPE?" Monica screamed, making the twins cry more.

"Do I really have to explain?" Chandler said calmly.

"Oh," Monica said, "Look, I don't care! Bring one!"

"All right," Chandler responded.

Title Song

(Back in the house)

Chandler is in his work suit. The twins are finally asleep.

"What are you doing?" Monica asked.

"I'm getting ready to go to work," Chandler replied," That's kind of how we're going to pay for diapers, food, oh, and HAND SOAP!" With this colossal scream, he woke up the twins.

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The twins cried.

"You know," Chandler said, "I'm going to go now."

"Oh, no you're not," Monica blocked the door, "You woke them up, you get them back to sleep. I'm going to take a nap." These words had a deep impact on Chandler. If he was late for work, he wouldn't get the WENUS (Weekly estimated net usage statistics, for those of you who missed The One with Two Parts) done on time!

(Now we cut to Joey's apartment)

The chick and duck were pecking and biting each other in their box. Joey went in to see what all the quacks and chirps were about.

"HEY," he said to them, "Don't do that!" He picked up the chick. After he got a hold of him, the chick pecked his finger.

"Ouch!" Joey yelped, he put the chick back in the box, where the two continued to peck and bite each other. Joey looked like he was going to have an embolism. He just paused watching the chick and duck kill each other. He immediately called Chandler up.

(Chandler and Monica's House)

Chandler looked like he was about to die. The twins were, once again, asleep. He was just about to leave when the phone rang and woke Erica up. She started crying, waking Jack up as well. Chandler answered the phone.

"Hello?" He said pretty much unconscious.

"Hey, It's Joey," He said.

"DAMN IT, JOEY!" He screamed, "You called and woke up the twins, AGAIN!"

"Yeah," Joey replied calmly, "Did the chick and duck ever fight?"

"Yes," He replied, "Why?"

"They're fighting," Joey said, "What do I do?"

"Put them in separate boxes," Chandler said through gritted teeth. They said "Bye" and hung up. Chandler glumly sat in his chair, waiting for the twins to fall asleep.

(Back at Joey's place)

Joey was running through his apartment looking for a new box. He finally just put the duck in the sink. After a long while, he found another box. He tried to pick the duck up, but he wouldn't budge. He then noticed that the ducks foot was stuck in the drain.

"Oh My God!" Joey screamed, "What happened?"

"Quack!" The duck quacked.

"Really? How did it happen?"

"QUACK!" the duck quacked again.

"No way!" Joey replied, obviously interested in the conversation. The duck continued to quack indistinctively.

"Well," Joey said, "How can we get you out?"

"Quack," the duck said.

"Good idea," Joey said, "We'll use butter!" Joey ran around looking for butter. He couldn't find any, so he went across the hall. He knocked on the door.

"Hey Mon," He said, "Can I borrow some butter?" A French girl opened the door.

Voulez vous couchez avec moi? She said. (There are no quotes here because something happened with them)

"I'd love too, but can I borrow some," He was quickly interrupted,

"Parlez Vous Français?"

"Yes," Joey said impatiently, "Can I borrow some butter?"

"C'est Moi elle garcons, Voila?" The French lady said.

"Um," Joey thought. "Parlez Vous English?"

"Yes I do," The French lady said.

"How you doin'?" Joey asked in his "Voice". The girl smiled.

"I'm Nannette," She said.

"I'm Joey."

"Oh," Nannette said, "You wanted butter." She went back into Monica's old apartment. She came back with a stick of butter.

"Thanks," Joey said, "Hey, Do you want to come over later?"

"Sure," Nannette said, "What time?"

"How about 8:00 tonight?"

"Great, I'll see you then," She said. Joey went back to the apartment to unstuck Duck Jr.

"Okay, buddy," Joey said as he applied butter to Duck Junior's foot, he slid right out.

(Monica and Chandlers House)

The twins were asleep. Chandler went to wake Monica up.

"Honey," He said, "I'm going to work."

"Oh," She said still half asleep, "I'll watch the twins, you go to work." Chandler said nothing and ran out the door.

(Chandler's office)

Mr. Douglas walked in with a huge stack of papers

"Here's the WENUS," he said, "Get it to me by 5:00." Chandler checked his watch, it was 3:00.

"Plenty of time," he said to himself.

(Back at the house)

Monica was sleeping next to the twins crib. The twins started crying.

"Oh, God!" She said, "Why can't you guys sleep?" They continued to cry. Glumly, she grabbed the twins and began to nurse them. They stopped crying. Monica started to dose off again.

(Phoebe's place)

Phoebe and Mike were "in the moment".

"Hey Phoebe," Mike said, "Were you serious about having a bunch of kids?"

"Of course!" Phoebe replied enthusiastically.

"When should we start trying?" He asked. Phoebe started thinking and counting on her fingers.

"We could do it now," She said.

"I thought we were," He said.

"We will be as soon as you get that condom off!" She exclaimed.

(Ross's apartment)

Ross and Rachel were also "in the moment".

"Hey," Rachel said, "Do you think we should give Emma a sibling?" Ross looked like he was going to blow.

"First marriage," He said, "Then more kids." Emma was asleep.

"She's probably getting hungry," Rachel said.

"Yeah," he said.

Chandler's Office

Chandler went back to Mr. Douglas's office.

"Here's the WENUS," he said. As he said this, Mr. D, checked his watch,

"You're 5 seconds late," He said. Chandler had the most clueless look on his face.

Names

"Seriously, you c-can't b-b-base that off 5 seconds!" Chandler stuttered.

"I know, I'm just screwing with you," He replied with the funniest look possible on the planet.


	3. The One with All the News

Friends: The complete Eleventh Season

By: Shadowfan90563

Episode 3: The One with All the News

Disclaimer: See Chapter 2.

Author's Note: There is no Author's Note! Sorry! Wait, if this chapter is a little shorter, don't be alarmed. I'm just having a wee bit of writer's block

Summary: Every member of the gang goes to Westchester. (Monica and Chandler's House) The entire gang has a new development in their life to tell.

(Monica and Chandler's house)

"Hey Mon," Chandler said, "Why don't we have a big gang gathering here? You know, to tell them about us." Chandler had made Monica pregnant the other night, despite his low class sperm and Monica's unprepared uterus.

"That's actually a good idea!" Monica said as she fed Erica, "You actually came up with a serious idea!" Chandler gave a slightly criticizing look.

"Hey," he said mockingly, "Don't rub it in, it was hard to do!" Monica rolled her eyes.

Title screen

(Ross and Rachel's apartment)

Ross was talking on the phone.

"Hey Rach," Ross said, "Mon and Chandler are having a get-together at Westchester. You want to come?"

"Sure," Rachel said.

(Phoebe and Mike's place)

Phoebe is asleep, along with Mike. The phone rang, waking them both up.

"IT'S SATURDAY!" Phoebe screamed, "I didn't ask for a damn wake up call!" Mike got up and answered the phone. After a lot of talking, Phoebe said,

"Who was it?" She asked.

"It was Monica and Chandler," he said, "They want us to come see them in Westchester."

"Oh," Phoebe said, then it looked like wheels and gears were turning in her head,

"I have to take a pregnancy test!" she said running into the bathroom. While she was in the bathroom Mike thought to himself, "I might be a DAD!" Phoebe ran out of the bathroom with the most ecstatic look on her face,

"WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

"I'M GONNA BE A DAD!" Mike replied in equal voice intensity.

(Joey's Apartment)

Joey woke up with the chick pecking his "thing".

"YAH!" he screamed in terror, "Don't peck me there!" The phone started to ring. Joey picked it up.

"Hello?" He said.

"Hey Joey," Chandler said, "Do you think you might want to come over today?"

"Sure!" Joey said with a very happy look on his face, "When can I come?"

"We're having the get-together at 2:00," Chandler informed.

"I'll be there," Joey said.

(Monica and Chandler's house) 2:00PM

Everyone is on the edge of they're seats waiting to share their secrets. Joey was with Nanette.

"Everyone," Monica said, "Chandler and I have a big surprise for all of you."

"What?" Mike said looking suspiciously in Monica's eyes.

"We're having a baby!" Chandler said in the most ecstatic voice he could make.

Everything was silent; everyone who had another secret was busy scrambling to think of how to tell their surprises. They finally just gave up with it and congratulated them. About 3 hours of celebrating and drinking, Rachel and Ross broke the celebrating with their surprise.

"We also have something to tell all of you," Ross said. The room was completely silent.

"We're having another baby too!" Rachel said with the equal tone of Chandler's voice earlier.

"So are we!" Mike screamed in unison with Phoebe.

"THIS IS NANETTE!" Joey screamed over all the pregnancy news.

"Hi, Nanette!" everyone said at once. They continued to spread the fun around.

Names

"So, we might have all our babies on the same day?" Phoebe asked.

"We might," Rachel said back.

"Yeah, right!" Monica said without moving her lips.

"We might be the baby sextet!" Phoebe said happily.

"Phoebe," Ross said, "We already are!"

"No," She replied, "I mean the six of us might have our babies on the same day!

END

Writer's Block sucks. I am willing to take suggestions. Don't say what the episode name should be though. (I like doing that!)


	4. The One with the Huge Step Forward

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

Episode 4: The One with the Huge Step Forward

By: Shadowfan90563

Author's Note: I know you are all on the edge of your seats for this. Just so you know, if I don't update for a while, don't be alarmed. It could be 1. I'm on vacation, 2. I'm having writer's block. Never fear though, for I WILL SUCCED! (Maniacal Laughter). Special thanks to Miss Mione for the spelling error in the title! I can't believe I did that! You will all LOVE this episode! I'm flowing with ideas! P.S. Let me know if I'm descriptive enough.

Summary: Joey and Nanette make an amazingly early step forward in their relationship.

(Joey and Rachel's Apartment)

Joey and Nanette are in their room, having just finished "Doing it".

"Hey, Nanette," Joey said, "I was wondering, since the others are having babies, we should have one too."

"Oh," Nanette said with obvious intrigue, "Well, that would mean we have to get married."

"Oh, yeah," Joey replied obviously not having thought about it, "Well, why don't we?"

"You're nuts!" Nanette exclaimed, "We can't get married! We've only been going out for 2 weeks!"

"Ross got married around that time," Joey said.

"Well, I do like you," Nanette said, "You know what, yeah, let's get married!"

Title

(Rachel's Room)

Rachel has just woken up. There is some noise outside of her room. She walks out of her room to see what all the noise is about.

"Hey, Rach," Joey said, "We've got our own set of news, finally!"

"The gathering was yesterday," Rachel said with a smirk, which was followed by an evil look.

"We're getting married," Nanette announced.

"Okay," Rachel said, "I'm obviously dreaming, I'm going back to bed." About 2 hours later, Rachel came out.

"We're getting married," Joey repeated.

"NO WAY!" Rachel exclaimed, "You've been dating for 2 weeks!" There was a short pause, "You're pregnant!" she accused Nanette with a pointed finger.

"Not yet," Nanette replied.

"So, you're planning to?" She said.

"Yes, we are!" Joey said.

"Cool," Rachel said, "Another pregnant friend."

(Ross's Apartment)

Rachel comes in to the apartment looking somewhat winded.

"Well," She said as Ross was holding Emma, "Joey and Nanette are getting married."

"No way!" Ross said, "They just started dating!"

"I know," Rachel replied, "That's as stupid as that guy who went out with that British girl, and married her!" There was a short pause then she said,

"Who was that idiot?" Another extremely long pause came along.

"IT WAS ME!" Ross yelled, frightening Emma.

"Oh," Rachel said without moving her eyes.

"Just don't make fun of my failed marriages," He said with veins popping out of his temple.

"Sorry," Rachel said, "I just forgot about the whole thing."

"That's fine," Ross replied, "I'll forgive you if… you admit that WE WERE ON A BREAK!"

"NO we weren't!" Rachel said, it looked like their first fight as an engaged couple was about to happen.

"Yes we were!" Ross said, "You knew, you just hate to be proven wrong."

"No," Rachel replied, "I knew that I was freaking angry at you for going bad on the agreement!"

"Freaking angry?" Ross said in the enraged voice from many episodes, "You made my girlfriend shave her head!"

"You should have been happy," Rachel said, "You wouldn't have read my letter," She was interrupted by Ross,

"Which was so boring that I fell asleep!" Ross snapped.

"You know," she said, "You can take back your stupid ring!" She ripped it off her finger and threw it in the toilet. She left in a huff. Grudgingly, Ross went in to the bathroom, and began to decide how to get the ring out of the toilet.

(Monica and Chandler's House)

Monica is feeding the twins, both at the same time

"Chandler," She said, "Come in here, I have a trick to show to you."

"Does it involve nudity?" Chandler said hopefully.

"Topless nudity, yes," She said with a sly grin. Chandler quickly came in.

"That's not topless nudity!" Chandler said angrily, "That's 2 babies blocking the best things Mother Nature has to offer us men!"

"You're weird." Monica said.

"I'm not weird," Chandler said, "I just respond to my hormones."

"Alright," Monica said, "Let me finish feeding these two. In the meantime, go get a condom ready."

"Yes!" Chandler said, and then he thought to himself, "I am the luckiest man on Earth."

(Mike and Phoebe's place)

Mike has woken up next to Phoebe; he is still a little tired though.

"Phoebe?" He said to her, "How come your stomach isn't growing?"

"Have you ever had a kid?" Phoebe asked impatiently.

"No."

"Oh, Okay," Phoebe said, "it takes a little while for my boobs and stomach to start growing. Ooh! I finally have my wish!"

"What was that?" Mike asked.

"I've always wanted to have massive boobs!" She said excitedly.

(Ross's Apartment)

Ross is sitting on his bathroom floor wondering how to get the ring out of the toilet. He decided to see if Emma would do it for him.

"Emma," Ross said as he picked her up and put her down by the toilet, "That's Mommy's ring in there, can you get it?" Emma must have understood, because she actually reached into the toilet and fished the ring out.

"Thank you, Emma!" Ross said, as he grabbed the ring, Emma pulled herself up to the toilet, she sat down like she was pooping, and she fell in, making water go everywhere.

"Oh my god!" Ross said, "It's always something in this apartment." He decided he had to get her out; there was an ear-splitting scream from the baby in the toilet. Ross grabbed some Toilet Paper and stuffed some in both ears. He then grabbed her and tried to lift her out, but she wouldn't budge. He then called Joey's apartment to see if Rachel was there.

"Joey?" Ross said, "Is Rach there?"

"Yeah she is," Joey said, "hang on. Hey Rach! Ross is calling you."

"Look," Rachel said, "I need to be alone for awhile."

"That doesn't matter right now!" Ross said with a shaky voice, "Emma's stuck in the toilet!"

"No way!" Rachel said, "I'll be there, in the meantime, call a mechanic."

"Why?" Ross inquired.

"We may need to cut the seat off," she said.

"That'll cost a fortune!" Ross screamed.

"Our baby is stuck in the toilet!" Rachel said, "Do you really care what it'll cost!"

"A little bit," Ross replied, he hung up the phone and called "Quick Mechanics". The phone rang and some 69 year old answered the phone,

"Quick Mechanics," He said in the most lifeless voice Ross had ever heard, "What's your problem?"

"Hi, my baby is stuck in the toilet," Ross said just realizing how stupid that sounded, "Could you come out and give us a hand?"

"That's the lamest prank call we've had here in a long time!" The old guy laughed.

"It's not a joke!" Ross said as the old man hung up the phone. About 5 minutes later Rachel arrived.

"Did the Mechanic come?" Rachel said.

"No," Ross replied, "they thought it was a prank call!"

"Who did you call?" Rachel interrogated.

"Quick Mechanics," Ross declared.

"They suck!" Rachel said, "They didn't even believe that Joey's refrigerator was broken!"

"Then who do you want me to call?" Ross asked.

"Call Megachanics," Rachel said. So, Ross went to the phone and called them.

"Hi," Ross said, "Can you come over and cut our toilet seat?"

"What do you have a baby stuck in it!" The Mechanic said.

"Yes!" Ross said, "Our apartment is on Grove Street near Central Perk. The Number is 9.

Names

The Mechanics actually got Emma unstuck without cutting the toilet seat. They just used the magical lubricant.

"How does butter always work that way?" Ross asked.

"Butter is the only product we use at Megachanics!" The Mechanic said, "Would you like to know how much it costs." They all went to the door.

"How much does Megachanics Brand butter cost?" Ross asked.

"50 per stick!" The mechanic said. They immediately shut the door.

(Sorry if this seems too rushed, it will all make sense in the end)


	5. The One where Ross and Rachel Make Up

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

Episode 5: The One where Ross and Rachel make up

Author's Note: Yes! We are 1/5 of the way to the Season Finale! I have never had more than 10 reviews for a story. I love you all! You will all be satisfied at the end, I know you will. APPEARANCE UPDATE: The girls have a slightly increased stomach volume. Also, could someone please remind me if Phoebe and Mike live in a house or an apartment? Thanks in advance.

Summary: Ross and Rachel try to fix their relationship. Phoebe is convinced that the world is going to explode in 3 days. Joey and Nanette start trying to get pregnant.

(Phoebe and Mike's Place)

Phoebe woke up with an extremely uncomfortable look on her face, she screamed.

"What is it?" Mike said ready to take action.

"I had a dream that the world will implode in 3 days!" She said shakily.

Title

"If it was a dream," Mike said sleepily, "It isn't going to happen."

"My dreams are always accurate!" she said.

"It's just because your hormones are starting to take effect."

"It will happen," Phoebe said, "Lucky for you, I won't be alive to brag that I was right!"

(Rachel and Joey's Apartment)

Rachel was lying awake at midnight with questions racing through her mind at what seemed like the speed of sound. "What should I do?" She thought, "Do I still love him? Do I want another break?" She quickly deleted that question. She did **NOT** want to go on another break after thinking about what happened last time. She ignored the moaning that was going on in Joey's room. Joey had Nanette over last night; she was seriously looking forward to moving in with Ross. A few hours passed, she then decided she would call him the next morning. With this, she agreed with herself that she should get some sleep.

(Ross's apartment)

Ross was in his room very distraught about last night's fight. He thought about calling Rachel, but he remembered what happened when he did that the last time, he decided to lay low and wait for Rachel to call him. No longer than an hour later, the phone rang, he ran for the phone praying to God that it was Rachel calling to tell him that she wanted to work this out.

"Hello?" Ross said eagerly.

"Hi," It was Rachel; he immediately started thinking about how to start the conversation up.

"I want to work on this," Luckily for him, she started it for him.

"I know," Ross said, "I want to get married."

"Me too," Rachel said, "I know you might want to get a new ring."

"Do you want a new ring?" Ross asked.

"I only want a new ring if you want a new one." Rachel said in a loving manner.

"We're gonna stay with this one." Ross replied in that same loving manner.

(Monica and Chandler's House)

Jack is sitting on Monica's lap touching her stomach. Erica is asleep on Chandler's lap.

"Chandler," Monica said, "Do you think all of us will have our babies on the same day?"

"I doubt it; that would be the most amazing coincidence I have ever seen."

"We've ALL had some crazy conspiracy, fiasco, coincidence, or other word that means crazy problem." The phone started to ring, Chandler picked it up and said "hello".

"_Hi," _It was Joey, _"Nanette and I have some news."_

"Now what happened?" Chandler said exhausted from all the news that was being received.

"_Nanette and I are getting married!" _Joey said ecstatically.

"How many times am I going to hear that people are getting married?" Chandler said jokingly.

"_We're also trying to get pregnant!" _Joey said in the same ecstatic voice. They exchanged their good-byes and hung up.

"Everyone is going to be pregnant together now," Chandler said to Monica.

"We're going to have our babies on the same day," Monica said back, "I know it!"

"How many times have you actually been right?" Chandler inquired.

"Too many times to count!" Monica replied.

"Name one," Chandler commanded.

"I knew that we would have a boy!" Monica said slightly snappy.

"Doesn't count," Chandler said

"Why not?" Monica asked.

"We had a boy AND a girl!" Chandler practically shouted.

"Fine," Monica said, "I can't think of anymore!" Chandler nodded to himself.

(Nanette's Apartment)

Nanette is waking up at 11:42AM, three days after they tried to get pregnant. She went into her bathroom. About 2 minutes later she came out of her room and ran across the hall. Using her new key, she came into Joey's apartment.

"WE'RE PREGNANT!" Nanette screamed.

Rachel was apparently not there, because Joey was lying on the floor. Nanette didn't know why though. She started to head to her own apartment when she noticed he wasn't breathing as heavily as he used to. She went to feel his lungs. They weren't moving.

(I had to cut this chapter short because I wanted an amazingly "edge-of-your-seat" cliffhanger)


	6. The One where Joey is in a Coma

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

By: Shadowfan90563

Episode 6: The One where Joey is in a Coma

Author's Note: All of you are wondering what happened at the end of the 5th chapter. I know it. The answers will be uncovered on today's episode of Friends! (Sorry it took so long for an update. I've been busy with season 9) :)

Summary: When Joey ends up in the hospital after falling into a rare, surprise coma, the entire group comes to see him. Nanette, who is totally devastated, forgets to tell Phoebe and Mike.

(Joey and Rachel's apartment)

Nanette was completely flabbergasted by the recent happening. She knew she had to call 911 immediately, but she couldn't move. She finally regained her senses and ran to the phone, she dialed and called.

"911 Emergency," The voice on the line said.

"My boyfriend's lungs aren't moving! We live at Number 19 at the apartment by Central Perk." Nanette said with a very shaky voice.

"We're on our way," The voice replied. Nanette knew she had to do something to help, but she didn't know what to do. She decided that she had better call the others. She called Monica and Chandler first.

"Monica?" Nanette said in the same, utterly shaken voice, "something's wrong with Joey!"

"What is it?" Monica asked in a concerned tone.

"His lungs aren't moving!" Nanette replied.

"We'll be right there!" Monica said, "Where are they taking him?"

"I think to General Hospital." Nanette replied.

"Um, Nanette?"

"Yeah?"

"That is a show on ABC," Monica said.

(Title Sequence)

"It's probably Beth Israel Medical Center. We'll be right down." Nanette decided to call Ross's apartment to see if Rachel was there.

"Hello?" It was Rachel

"Hey, it's Nanette," She said, "Joey's lungs aren't moving!"

"Really?" Rachel asked, "Where is he?"

"He's right here," Nanette said, "They're taking him to Beth Israel Medical Center."

"We'll be right there." Rachel replied. The ambulance arrived; they carried Joey to the vehicle. Nanette knew she had someone else to call but she didn't know who. She looked for Joey's parents' phone number. She found it and called them.

"Hello?" It was Joey's dad.

"Hi, Mister Tribianni?" Nanette asked, "This is Joey's girlfriend Nanette. Your son's lungs aren't moving."

"Oh my god!" His father said, "Where is he?"

"There taking him to Beth Israel Medical Center," Nanette said.

"We'll see you there." Joey's dad said. Nanette thought she was ready to go; but she had forgotten to call Phoebe and Mike.

(Beth Israel Medical Center, Room 192)

Joey was on his back on a bed inside the hospital. Everyone was there. A doctor came in and started asking questions.

"Are you Miss Remelo?" The male doctor asked.

"Yes," Nanette said in the voice she had been using all day, "Is he alright?"

"He will be," He said, "Joey fell into an amazingly rare sugar induced coma. He will probably wake up soon."

"Phew," Nanette said relieved.

"Where's Phoebe?" Monica asked.

"Phoebe?" Nanette responded clueless.

"She's the blond with the truckload of Jewelry," Rachel said.

"OH NO!" Nanette shouted, "I didn't call Phoebe and…" She paused.

"MIKE!" everyone returned.

"Mike!" Nanette finished.

"Oh boy," Ross said, "She's gonna kick your ass!"

"She'll understand right!" Nanette said, "It was a misunderstanding!" Rachel glared at Ross and said,

"Ross just thinks of Phoebe as a short fuse. And he's totally wrong. Just don't tell her you forgot."

"Good," Nanette said back, "I'll call her now." She dialed and put the phone up to her ear. It rang four times and Mike answered.

"Hello?"

"Mike?" Nanette inquired, "Can I talk to Phoebe?"

"Sure, hold on," Mike said back.

"Yeah?" Phoebe said.

"Joey's in a coma right now, can you come to Beth Israel Medical Center?"

"Definitely!" Phoebe exclaimed shocked, "Which room is he in?"

"One-ninety-two." Nanette answered.

(Phoebe and Mike's apartment)

"Mike, we need to go to the hospital." Phoebe said to her husband.

"Are your contractions starting already?" Mike yelled quickly.

"God, Mike!" Phoebe said, "It's still going to be 8 months! Joey's in a coma."

"Oh no!" Mike said back, "Let's go!"

When they came to the room, Joey had already woken up.

"What the hell happened!" Joey exclaimed.

"You fell into a sugar induced coma." The Doctor said, "What have you had to eat lately?"

"Pie." Joey said.

"Figures," everyone said quietly.

"A little less pie and you'll be fine." The doctor replied. After he left, Joey said,

"He was just kidding right?"

(Names)

Phoebe and Mike arrived.

"How can he be awake already?" Phoebe asked suspiciously.

"Uh, well," Nanette scrambled for excuses, "I forgot to tell you."

"What?" Phoebe said, "You even told his parents and not us!"

"I wasn't really paying attention." She stuttered, "My future husband may have been dying!"

"Fine. I forgive you," Phoebe said, "The worlds going to end in a few days anyway."

(R&R)


	7. The One with Monica's Sonogram

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

By: Shadowfan90563

Author's Note: No author's note this time, bye-bye!

Episode 7: The One with Monica's Sonogram

Summary: Monica gets amazing pregnancy news. Phoebe still thinks the world will explode.

(Joey's apartment)

Joey woke up on November 21st; only four days before Chandler's least favorite holiday. He decided to go check on the Chick and the Duck. The door opened and he came out. He went to the box, but they weren't there. He obviously didn't think anything of it, because he just went into the bathroom. The sound of a toilet flushing and water running could be heard, signifying that he was finished. He came out, went back to the box, and finally realized there was something wrong.

"CHICK JR!" he yelled, "DUCK JR! Where did you go!"

(Title Screen)

He knew they were not in the foos ball table. Monica had made sure of that. He decided to go over to Nanette's and look there.

"Nanette!" He said pounding on the door. She came out in rather skimpy pajamas.

"Wow!" Joey said, "You've never worn that before!"

"Well, I usually don't wear anything when I'm with you," She said sensually, "What's wrong?"

"The chick and the duck are missing!" He said.

"The two birds?" Nanette said, "They're right here." She pointed to the two pecking at numerous articles of French furniture.

"So, how you doin'?" Joey said in the same sensual voice.

"Yeah, it's still a little early," Nanette said back smiling, "You wanna?"

"YEAH!" Joey exclaimed as they started kissing passionately. They headed for the bedroom.

(Monica and Chandler's house)

Chandler woke up with a soft hand on his bare chest. Monica had woken him up.

"We need to call Rachel and ask her and Ross to baby sit the kids." She said.

"Why?" Chandler asked.

"We have to go to Dr. Conelly's office for my first sonogram!" Monica replied excitedly.

"Why don't you just ask Phoebe and Mike?" Chandler responded in a tired voice, "They need the experience anyway."

"Damn it!" Monica exclaimed, "The baby's making me lose the ability to come up with good ideas!" Chandler picked up the phone and dialed Phoebe and Mike's apartment.

(Phoebe and Mike's Apartment)

The phone rang. Phoebe woke up and screamed.

"The world's going to end today!" She screamed like she was being murdered. Mike, as though there was nothing new, picked up the phone.

"Hello?" Mike said.

"Hey, Mike," Chandler said, "We need you and Phoebe to baby sit around noon."

"Okay," Mike said, "Bye." He hung up the phone.

"Phoebe," He said, "Mon and Chandler need us to baby sit Jack and Erica at noon."

"WHAT!" Phoebe shouted.

"Phoebe," Mike scolded, "All the neighbors are going to think that you're dying."

"I can't be with a child the day the world explodes!" Phoebe said matter-of-factly.

"The world is not going to end!" Mike said.

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"SHUT UP!" a neighbor across the hall shouted, "Some of us are trying to sleep!"

"I told you." Mike said to Phoebe.

(Dr. Conelly's office)

On the screen was a black and white picture. Monica and Chandler were both looking for the baby. Dr. Conelly was also looking quite hard.

"We'll need to find the baby in it first." Dr. Conelly said, "I'll be right back." After a few moments of silence, Monica said,

"God, I hope nothing's wrong."

"No way, we've been trying forever." Chandler said, "Nothing could go wrong." Another couple of minutes passed. Finally, Dr. Conelly came in.

"We now know why we can't find the baby." Dr. Conelly said.

"Well, why?" Monica asked.

"The embryo, um, isn't developing." He said.

"What does that mean?" Chandler asked.

"I'm afraid that you've had a miscarriage." The doctor said.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Two cliffhangers in two episodes. Stop me I'm on fire! Review… now!


	8. The One After the Sonogram

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

By: Shadowfan90563

Episode 8: The One after the Sonogram

Author's note: You're all great. I haven't ever had a story this successful in my entire writing career! I'll try to even out the spaces between chapters OK?

Summary: Monica has a tragedy with her pregnancy. Joey has trouble with the chick and the duck.

(Dr. Conelly's office)

"I'm afraid you've had a miscarriage," Dr. Conelly said.

"But," Monica said choked up, "how can this happen?"

"Well," Dr. Conelly said, "Like we said in our previous visit, you both have problems with the sperm and egg cells."

"What does THAT mean?" Chandler asked.

"It means that you will probably not ever have a kid from your genes." Dr. Conelly said.

"If I wasn't in advertising," Chandler said, "I might actually understand what you're talking about."

(Title Sequence)

(Monica and Chandler's House)

Phoebe and Mike are babysitting Jack and Erica. Phoebe is sweating like mad and is shaking all over.

"Phoebe," Mike said, "you should have these crazy superstitions more often. It puts Erica right to sleep!"

"For your information," Phoebe snapped back, "I'm going to be holding a baby when the world bows up!"

"What time is this 'tragedy' going to occur?" Mike asked using the "air quotes".

"My psychic said 3:00." Phoebe said. Mike looked at his watch.

"Honey," He said, "its 3:59 in the afternoon."

"My psychic's ass is SO fired!" Phoebe shouted.

"But, I thought it was a dream," Mike said.

"Yeah, that bitch always got in my head." Phoebe said. After a few minutes, Monica and Chandler walked in.

"How was the sonogram?" Phoebe said. There was a long pause and Chandler said,

"We had a miscarriage," Chandler said, "But, that doesn't really matter, we're kind of used to it now!"

"You two have had a miscarriage before and never told me!" Phoebe shouted.

"NO!" Monica said pinching Chandler's armpit, (OW!) "I think he means that we've always had crazy pregnancy stuff."

(Ross's apartment)

Ross's phone rang; Rachel came out and answered it.

"Hello?" She said.

"Hi." Monica sobbed.

"You seem upset," Rachel said, "What's wrong?"

"I'm never going to have a baby!" Monica said through sobs.

"You and Chandler just got pregnant," Rachel said utterly confused, "You drank Jack Daniels again didn't you?" Rachel accused.

"No! I only did that once!" Monica said back, "Still, that was a hell of a night!"

"Seriously," Rachel said, "What the hell happened?"

"We had a miscarriage," Monica said before bursting into tears.

"Oh, my God!" Rachel said. She put her hand over the speaker of the phone. "Ross!" Ross came to the phone.

"What's wrong?" He said.

"I think she drank Jack Daniels again." Rachel whispered as she gave Ross the phone, "Now she thinks she had a miscarriage."

"Damn it Mon!" Ross said, "You need to stop that!"

"What?"

"Rachel told me you drank too much Jack Daniels!" Ross said unaware of the current tragedy, "You should at least mix it with some diet soda!"

(Nanette's Apartment)

Nanette was brushing her teeth when Joey came through the door.

"NANETTE!" Joey screamed.

"What!" Nanette said alarmed.

"The chick and the duck are dead!" Joey shouted.

"Oh no!" Nanette said.

"Yeah, I think they swallowed my golf balls!" Joey said.

"Ah, well, nothing you can do," Nanette said casually. When she left the room she started dancing.

(NAMES)

(Ross's Apartment)

Someone knocked on the door; Rachel came to the door and opened it. Monica came in and slapped Rachel on the face.

"That's for being a bitch!" Monica said as she walked over to Ross and hugged him.

"THAT'S for caring!" She said as she stormed out the door.


	9. The One with the Amazing Thanksgiving

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

By: Shadowfan90563

Episode 9: The One with Thanksgiving in Westchester

Author's Note: MWAHAHAHAHHA! I'm back baby! I went on this damn vacation, so I haven't been home in weeks. I do have some writer's block, so bear with me.

Description/Summary/Synopsis: When Monica refuses to cook, Nanette shows her strong side by cooking Thanksgiving Dinner. When the dinner is a hit, Monica becomes insanely jealous.

(Monica and Chandler's House)

Monica woke up on November 25th. This was the first Thanksgiving that she wasn't upbeat and excited to cook Thanksgiving dinner. The recent tragedy was so sad, that Monica lost her Thanksgiving-y mood.

"Chandler," She said groggily, "We need to call everyone and tell them that we can't host thanksgiving this year."

"Well then, what are we gonna do to celebrate?" Chandler said as he woke up.

"We'll figure something out." She said back.

"Yeah, but can we not use the phone?" Chandler said, "Why don't we go to the coffeehouse and tell them."

"Hmmmmmn," Monica wondered aloud, "I need to pull myself together. You're making all the good decisions."

(Title Sequence)

BEGIN SONG

"_So, no one told you life was gonna be this way clapclapclapclap_

_Your job's a joke, your broke, your love life's D.O.A._

_It's like you're always stuck in second gear_

_And when hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year,_

_But…_

_I'll be there for you (When the rain starts to fall)_

_I'll be there for you (Like I've been there before)_

_I'll be there for you ('Cause you're there for me toooooooooooooooo)"_

(End Song)

(Central Perk)

The other six (Ross, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe, Mike, and Nanette) were sitting quietly, just chit-chatting.

"Wow." Chandler said, "Could this place BE any fuller?"

"Well," Ross said, "There's 8 of us now. It's going to be a bit of a full house nowadays."

"Anyway," Monica said, "I will not be cooking dinner this year. Due to our tragedy."

"NO!" "That's crazy" were the responses that she got.

"Hey, Hey!" Nanette said, "I can cook."

"You can't cook either!" Joey said.

"Why not?" his betrothed asked.

"The chick and the duck died!" Joey said.

"To be honest, Joey," She replied, "I don't really care."

"You don't!" Joey said, "Chandler, do you care?"

"…" Chandler thought, "No."

"Hey!" Rachel cut in, "What if we have it in Nanette's apartment? It'll be like last year, without the beauty pageant and the Rangers game."

"That works with me," Nanette said, "What do you usually have for Thanksgiving?"

"Turkey and stuffing." Chandler said sarcastically, "That's what MOST people do."

"OH!" Phoebe said, "I have to have tofu turkey."

"Why?" Nanette inquired,

"Oh, I'm a vegetarian." She replied

"Well," She said, "You'll have to cook that."

"It's OK." Phoebe said, "I can cook."

"Yeah," Joey said, "Right!" There was a short pause "Oh, you were serious?" This was received with disorientated faces.

(Nanette's apartment)

All eight of the group, were sitting around a beautiful French table. Everyone except Phoebe had their turkey and stuffing. As Chandler took the first bite, he had an amazed look.

"Oh, My GOD! I hate Thanksgiving but DAMN, that's a good turkey!" Everyone else took a bite.

"WOW!" Everyone except Phoebe and Nanette said. The dinner was obviously wonderful.

"Well, I can't say because I didn't eat it." Phoebe said, "But DAMN, My tofu turkey is awesome!"

"You really like it!" Nanette asked.

"YEAH!" They all replied.

"Wow!" She exclaimed, "I thought this would be a disaster!"

"No way!" Phoebe said, "This is the exact opposite of a disaster!" She paused "This is a… a… it's NOT a disaster." She pointed triumphantly.

(1 hour later)

"Okay!" Nanette said fully happy with herself, "Who wants pumpkin pie?"

"I DO!" Joey screamed.

"You can't have any." Nanette pointed a loathing finger.

"Why not?" He asked loudly.

"You know what the doctor said." Nanette said.

"No more monkeys jumping on the bed?" Chandler asked.

"No more pie." Nanette said.

"I already ate some!" Joey exclaimed. Nanette gave an evil eye. "Yeah, I really shouldn't have said that should I have?" Nanette shook her head.

"I don't." Monica said.

"Why not Mon?" Chandler said.

"I don't know," She said. I'm just going to go take a nap." She headed for her old room. A couple seconds later, she came out.

"I just remembered I don't live here anymore." Monica said as she left the room.

(10 minutes later)

Monica was sulking in the hallway.

"Hey," Chandler said as he came out in the hall, "What are you doing?"

"Joey's French chippy makes a better Thanksgiving dinner than I do." Monica said.

"Hey," Chandler said, "There is nothing better than your dinners. And, I mean, if it helps, I can give you some organized sex tonight." They didn't say anything else, they just smiled and kissed.

Executive Producers

Marta Kauffman

David Crane

Kevin S. Bright

(Nanette's apartment)

"Wow!" Joey said, "You've got to cook dinner again sweetheart."

"NO!" Monica said, "I mean I'll cook next year. I'll be over this thing before next year."

I shall update in about a week

Bye-bye


	10. The One where Rachel Moves In

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

By: Shadowfan90563

Episode 10: The One Where Rachel Moves In

Author's Note: I shall be making more updates now. I don't go back to school until September, so I will be creating plots, episodes, and jokes from cunning to downright idiotic! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Synopsis: Rachel moves in with Ross. Rachel catches Ross singing one of the songs by Ross, Chandler, and Gandalf's former band and has a hard time keeping the secret.

(Ross's Apartment)

Ross was in his apartment longing companionship. It finally occurred to him that He and Rachel still did not live together. He decided he would go to the coffeehouse and ask. He went to the bathroom to comb his hair and put gel in it. He noticed the comb and gel.

"Well, no one's around." he thought. He picked up the gel and said,

"Oh! This is unbelievable that you would nominate Way/No Way for a Grammy. And now, as best new band, I shall perform our debut single, "She Feels Weird Since I've Been Gone…" He faked the crowd cheer. He obviously didn't hear the door close and started to sing.

"_She's the glorious star of the galaxy, _

_My unrequited dream,_

_I only wish, I could tell her how I feel… _

_But now that I'm off at college,_

_She feels weird since I've been gone (Chandler: She thinks I'm a geek)_

_She feels weird since I've been gone_ _(Chandler: She makes me feel like a freak)_

He heard a snicker. He turned around and saw Rachel with wide eyes and a smirk.

**BEGIN SONG**

_So no one told you that was gonna be this way (clapclapclapclap)_

_Your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A._

_It's like your always stuck in second gear,_

_And when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year,_

_But…_

_I'll be there for you (When the rain starts to fall)_

_I'll be there for you (Like I been there before)_

_I'll be there for you_

'_Cause you're there for me toooooooooooooooooo._

**END SONG**

(Central Perk)

The six of them (excluding Mike and Nanette) were sitting in the coffeehouse talking, with Ross blushing furiously and Rachel trying to keep from laughing.

"Shhhhhhh" Ross warned with the "quiet!" hand gesture. Rachel's eyes started to water. Ross did the praying hand jesture. Rachel looked like she was about to snap.

"ROSS SINGS IN HIS BATHROOM WITH A COMB!" Rachel screamed at the top of her lungs. Everyone within the coffeehouse area either snickered or flat out laughed. Gunther was not far away and was laughing rather loudly. He was clearly enjoying this new ammunition to Ross whenever his rage bursts from his love for Rachel.

"What did he sing!" Phoebe asked in between laughs.

"Well, apparently I felt weird while Ross was in college." Rachel laughed.

"Oh, my God!" Chandler shouted, "That one sucked!" Ross looked at Chandler with a look that said "HEY!" "Yeah, I should NOT be talking should I?" He said. Everyone shook their heads.

"Anyway," Rachel said fully releived with herself, "I started packing up my stuff to move in with you, hopefully within today."

"I'LL HELP! I'LL HELP!" Monica yelled, "I LIVE FOR THIS!"

"Monica I think you're going a LITTLE bit insane." Chandler remarked.

"Rachel I promise you," Monica said heroicly, "I will have you moved in TODAY!"

"Okay, 'Superwoman'" ('signafies air quotes) Chandler said, "I'll just go over to Ross's and drink a beer or something."

"Hey!" Joey said, "I picked up 3 tickets to the Rangers game today!"

"I think I'll pass." Ross said.

"Why?" Joey said.

**FLASHBACK**

**(Madison Square Garden, 1994)**

**Chandler: See buddy, This all you needed. A bunch of angry Canadians hittin' each other with sticks.**

**Ross: Pass It! Pass It! **

**(Puck flies out of arena)FWOOOOOOOOOSH!( Puck hits Ross in the nose) THWACK!**

**END FLASHBACK**

"Yeah," Chandler said, "You know some people say that DOESN'T happen every hockey game!"

(Joey and Rachel's apartment)

Monica is alone with a plethora of boxes packed and looking quite proud of herself. Rachel, having just woken up from her nap, came out of her room and said,

"WHAT. THE. HELL!" She screamed.

"What?" Monica inquired quizzically, "All I did was pack!"

"Yeah," Rachel said, "One box a minute!"

"Pretty much." Monica replied.

(2 hour's later at Ross and now Rachel's Apartment)

Rachel used her new key and saw that Monica had unpacked everything and put it in the EXACT same place as it was previously located when Rachel lived there before and was now sitting on the couch.

"OH MY GOD!" Rachel said, "Is your ass on fire or anything?"

"No, it was just fun." She replied. They heard singing in the distance. Rachel immediately knew who it was.

"Stay here," She said to Monica, "Mommy's gonna bust the fake rock star."

"_Emotional Knapsack" Ross sang in the bathroom, humming the synthesizer beat as well._

"You really don't use common sense do you?" Rachel asked in the same playful voice used before.

Executive Producers

Marta Kauffman

David Crane

Kevin S. Bright

(Ross and Rachel's apartment)

Monica was lying down peacefully on the leather couch, when Rachel came running out of the bathroom.

"HE'S SINGING AGAIN!" She screamed being followed by Ross.

"YOU GOSSIPING BITCH!" Ross yelled as he ran after her. After they were gone Monica said to herself,

"They're so sweet together."

(Bye-Bye. I'll be updating soon)


	11. The One With Joey's Wedding

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

By: Shadowfan90563

Author's Note: I'm back baby! I can keep you guys happy! Get ready for some serious updating!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 11: The One With Joey's Wedding

It was finally the day of Joey's entry into _real_ companionship. He was very happy about the warm, fuzzy feeling he got whenever he thought about the fact that he would end up married today, but, he was just starting to realize the fact that he will never be with another woman until the sweet release of death. He decided that it didn't matter, he loved Nanette and would be fine waking up to her face every day until the day he died. He looked at the clock, seeing that it read 9:06 AM. He did some math and realized that it would only be nine hours until he would be married. He was proud of himself for doing such difficult math, so he kissed Nanette lightly on her forehead and drifted off to sleep.

(Monica and Chandler's House)

Monica woke up next to Chandler with a power-tripping smile. She got the controlling, yet sweet feeling that she got when she thought about planning _another _wedding. Finally, after the oddly unsettling feeling of barking orders at Chandler, Ross, and Joey, she also went back to sleep.

(Happy Chapel of Marriage)

Joey was in a full length, 500 dollar tuxedo. He tried to adjust his pants, angry that Rachel had made him wear underwear. He finally got comfortable, and heard the familiar tune cueing him to walk down the aisle. He got the same warm, tingling feeling and walked down the city of flowers.

Nanette was in an unbelievably beautiful dress and vale. She also got the strange feeling that Joey got earlier and heard the famous song asking her to come through the town of beauty. Her father Lawrence at her side, she took a deep breath and walked.

The crazy feeling vanished when she saw her Bridesmaids, her sister Rayn, her best friend Karen, and her maid of honor, Bonnie. Joey also felt comforted when he looked over at his groomsmen, Ross, Mike, and best man Chandler. Father Loinavich spoke the words Joey knew all too well, and asked them to say their vows.

Joey said, "Nanette, I've only known you for a couple months, but I know that I love you, and I can not wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I know everyone else is just as happy as I am, because you are the one, my soul mate, the one I love."

"Miss Remelo," Father Loinavich said, "it is now your turn to tell Joey how you feel about him."

"I, uh, actually, don't have my vows written," She said, "but I do know what I want to say." She threw caution to the wind and took Joey to the ground and started kissing him violently. She didn't know why she was risking the fact that she might get thrown out, all she knew is that she was as horny as Joey would be on Valentine's Day. She took off all of his clothes and started to make love to him.

(Meanwhile)

Rachel was sitting in her seat, wide eyed. Although she knew why Nanette was so hard-on. She had had the same feeling 3 years ago. It was her 3rd month of pregnancy, and she wanted sex so bad that she wanted to tear the fanny pack off of a particularly unattractive man. The security came in and finally wrenched Nanette away from Joey. They were about to throw them both out when Rachel realized what was happening. She ran to the guard and explained everything. The guard miraculously understood, and let Nanette go and let Father Loinavich finish the ceremony.

"Miss Remelo?" The priest said, "This is probably the stupidest question ever, but do you take this man, to be your husband?"

Nanette resisted the urge of yelling "HELL YEAH!" and said "I do."

"Again," Father Loinavich said, "this is a kindergarten question. Do you take this woman to be your wife?"

"I do," Joey said as he kissed Nanette passionately. The priest ran away in fear of what might happen next.

Executive producers

Marta Kauffman

David Crane

Kevin S. Bright

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry if this chapter sucked. I'll get back in to the swing of things eventually!


	12. The One With Joey's Honeymoon

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

By: Shadowfan90563

Episode 12: The One With Joey's Honeymoon

Author's Note: I appreciate all of your support during my writer's block, this chapter will be mostly a flashback episode. Anything that looks like **THIS **is a flashback. If you don't know what that means, watch "The One with Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E., The One With Joey's Interview, or The One With Christmas in Tulsa.

(Nanette and (now) Joey's apartment)

Joey woke up in the delicate French bed in his new apartment. He and Nanette had decided to live in her apartment, being that it was 10 times nicer, didn't reek of duck feces, and had very fancy furniture. He wanted to wake Nanette up, but the fact that they had been up until 2:00 in the morning having fun, he decided to let her rest.

(1:08 PM)

Nanette and Joey's bags were all packed. (courtesy of Monica) Their destination was Nanette's home town of Paris. Joey thought it would be neat to have his new wife show him around her old home. Plus, they sprinkle rose petals on the beds! (According to Chandler) Monica came running in, in a total frenzy.

"Joey, Nanette," She barked, "Your flight leaves at 1300 hours, GO GO GO!" Joey sighed.

**BEGIN TITLE SEQUENCE**

_So no one told you life was gonna be this way (clap clap clap clap)_

_Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A._

_It's like you're always stuck in second gear,_

_And when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year,_

_But_

_I'll be there for you (When the rain starts to fall)_

_I'll be there for you (Like I've been there before)_

_I'll be there for you ('Cause you're there for me toooooooo)_

**END TITLE SEQUENCE**

(The Paris Hilton) (ha ha ha)

Joey and Nanette walked in to their honeymoon suite. As expected, there were a plethora of rose petals on the bed. Before jumping on the bed and seducing Joey, Nanette walked to cupboard.

"Damn," Nanette said, "there aren't any condoms!"

"Um," Joey replied, "I am kind of dumb, but I think we don't need any, being that you're already about 4 months pregnant. So I don't think we need them."

"Yeah," Joey said, "Hey, remember when we met?"

**Nanette: Voulez vous couchez avec moi, ce soir?**

**Joey: I'd love to but,**

**Nanette: Parlez Vous Francais?**

**Joey: YES! I need some butter please!**

**Nanette: C'est moi elle garcons.**

**Joey: Um, Parlez Vous English?**

**Nanette: Yes I do.**

"Hehehe," Nanette laughed, "I love trying to get people confused by saying French phrases that make no sense!"

"Were you horny then too?"

"Why?" Nanette asked.

"Well, you asked me if I wanted to have sex with you."

"Oh, yeah," She responded, blushing slightly."

"You know," Joey pondered, "I've been with a lot of girls, but you are my first serious relationship."

"Wow, really?" Nanette said.

"Oh, yeah! I had been with a girl almost every day!"

"Why did you always break up so quickly?"

**Chandler: You slept with our social worker and never called her back!**

**Joey: Could you maybe tell her I'm not looking for a serious relationship?"**

**Rachel: NO! Did Chandler ever do that!**

**Joey: Oh, yeah! He'd even make the girl pancakes!**

**Joey: I had this date last night, YUCK! But, we should probably keep it down, she's still in the bedroom.**

"Meh," Joey said, "Sometimes things just don't work out."  
"Huh," Nanette thought aloud, "things don't work out a LOT for you!"

"Oh," Joey fumbled for words, "Yeah, well, I think this will be different."

"I hope so!" Nanette exclaimed.

"Hopefully," Joey said quietly.

Executive Producers

Marta Kauffman

David Crane

Kevin S. Bright

(Joey and Nanette's apartment)

"Ah," Nanette said, "Nothing's better than coming home after a splendid trip."

"If you insist," Joey said. Although he still sounded different. He decided that he would look himself over again tomorrow.

Second Author's Note: Two updates in two days! I am on fire! Someone call the fire department! I'm burning up! I'm, (BANG!) Okay, I better shut up now. My muse, Agamemnon just hit me with a steel bat. Expect more updates soon!


	13. The One With the New Duck

Friends: The Complete Eleventh Season

By: Shadowfan90563

Author's Note: I am going to have much more frequent updates for a long time, this should be done by May. If it's not I'll…um…. Do…something. Whatever, on to Chapter 13. (Ah! I have Triskaidekaphobia. Watch The One With The Baby Shower in Season 8 for a translation.)

Chapter 13: The One With the New Duck

Synopsis: Both Joey and Nanette have strange thoughts that neither of them can explain, and they each come up with different ways to hide them. Chandler buys Joey a very special marriage present, which Nanette isn't to thrilled about. Rachel tries to get Mr. Zelner to give her job back to her.

Joey woke up in his wife's bed, still happy that he was married. But, he was still facing that personal thought. He couldn't understand what it was. He just felt… different. He decided that he would still look himself over every day, and maybe see a psychiatrist if he couldn't diagnose it himself.

"I love having a wedding ring!" Nanette said, not appearing to have any personal demons within her. But, she too had a strange feeling. She was just as clueless as her husband as to what the hell it was. So, she pretended that she was totally perfect.

"I'm as happy as a clam to be married! I've never had any thoughts that this may be too soon! I am FINE! I'm married!" Joey said very quickly, while shaking violently. Nanette looked at him wide-eyed.

_So, no one told you life was gonna be this way (clap clap clap clap)_

_Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. _

_It's like you're always stuck in second gear,_

_And when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year,_

_But…_

_I'll be there for you (When the rain starts to fall)_

_I'll be there for you (Like I've been there before)_

_I'll be there for you ('Cause you're there for me toooooooooooooo)_

Everyone was sitting in the coffeehouse talking about absolutely nothing. It was fun, and it kept the thoughts off the newlyweds' mind. So much, however, that Joey and Nanette practically screamed when Monica and Chandler came in and broke the mindless conversations.

"NO!" Joey yelled.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Um," Joey wondered, "I was daydreaming."

"About what?" Phoebe said.

"Uh, I was thinking about the chick and the duck! When they were dead on the carpet!" He popped.

"What the hell!" Mike said totally dumbfounded.

"Anyway," Chandler cut in, "I got you and Nanette a marriage gift!"

"Really?" Joey exclaimed, hoping that the surprise would keep his mind off of the items that set up camp in his mind.

"Yeah," Chandler replied, "Come on up to Nanette's apartment and I'll show you!"

(Nanette's Apartment) (Duh)

Joey was on the edge of his wits waiting for the present to be unveiled.

"Ta-Da!" Chandler said, looking quite proud of himself. Nanette gasped and made her eyes grow larger than dinner plates.

"A DUCK!" Joey yelled, "He's so cool! What should I name him?"

"Afflac would seem appropriate," Chandler joked.

"Ooh!" Joey said, "I like that name!" Chandler and Nanette rolled their eyes, slapped their foreheads, and shook their heads.

"Yeah," Nanette said, "I don't know if I want my sister's furniture crapped on by a piece of meat."

"Duck's not a meat!" Joey laughed, "What do you just go to a restaurant and say 'I want some smoked duck'?"

"Uh," Nanette said, "Yeah."

"Seriously?" He said with eyes as wide as Nanette's were earlier, "and while I'm at it, you have a sister?"

"Yes," Nanette guided like a teacher, "her name's Rayn, she was at the wedding."

"OH, DAMN IT!" Joey screeched.

"What?" Nanette said.

"I just got that thing out of my head!"

"Why don't you want it in your head?" Chandler said.

"I don't know," Nanette answered for him, "I mean, I didn't really like it either."

"Why?" Monica said down the hall.

"I don't know," Nanette said, "It wasn't that great." Monica fell backwards, but picked herself back up.

(Ralph Lauren Incorporated)

Rachel walked in to Mr. Zelner's office.

"Ah, our individual player with no talent whatsoever," Mr. Zelner sneered, "What do you want now?"

"Well, even though you are OBVIOUSLY still pissed at me," Rachel declared, "I was kind of hoping you would give me my job back?"  
"No," The reaction was instantaneous.

"Okay," She smiled devilishly, "I heard your son likes dinosaur items, so, I thought he might like this," She held up a very heavy Tyrannosaurus Rex Skull.

"Who told you my son likes dinosaurs?" Her old boss asked.

"Ross did!" Rachel explained.

"My son, Ross?" Mr. Zelner asked.

"Ross is your son?" Rachel asked, completely clueless.

"Yes," He replied, "He is seven years old."

"Ross isn't seven!" She yelled, "He's 34!"

"Get the hell out of my office!" He said. She knew not to anger him more, it wasn't often that he swore, and she realized she had better go.

(Ross and Rachel's Apartment)

"You're my boss's son?" Rachel screamed.

"No," Ross said, "Mr. Zelner has another son named Ross!"

"Oh," Rachel said, now understanding what had just happened.

"So," Ross said to his betrothed, "how do you intend to get your job back now?"

"I don't know," She said in her know-it-all voice, "do you have anymore worthless dinosaur crap that his son might like?"

"I could give him a life sized ammonite fossil."

"Fine!"

(Mr. Zelner's Office) (Again)

"Hi," Rachel said, half expecting another outburst, "Okay, I know you're still probably REALLY mad at me, but I have a full sized some kind of fossil for your son!"

"Fine," her boss mumbled coldly. She ran away at the speed of light.

(Joey and Nanette's Apartment)

"Oh," Joey cooed, "I love my ducky!"

"If that thing craps on anything, I will kill it!"

"What are you gonna do? Eat it?" Joey playfully asked.

"No, the incinerator will." Joey fell over.

Executive Producers

Marta Kauffman

David Crane

Kevin S. Bright

"I did it!" Rachel excitedly screamed coming in to her apartment, "He bought the bait!"

"Alright," Ross replied, "I really liked that fossil, so now you have to do something for me!"

"Fine," Rachel said, "I'm really sick of it though! You've been wanting to keep on doing it since I moved in. But, I guess I could bear it more."

"YES!" Ross screamed like a little girl. He anxiously turned the TV on.

"_And now, we bring you "Tide Pools of the Ancient World" on the Discovery Channel" _The TV blared.


End file.
